Paris, man, Paris.
Let me sum up Paris by telling you not to go. I think the wifi situation was better than in London, but not much. It was too big, too touristy, and way too expensive.
Side note on the public transportation: They appear to be really concerned with people hopping the turnstile to the metro. They even installed annoying little door things that you hit if you try to jump. In the few days we were there, one or two people jumped the turnstile anyway. Presumably this is the modern application of parkour. A more subtle approach to cheating the system is to get up close with the person in front of you and go in with them. Yet another approach (used by me since my ticket almost never worked) is to have your buddy stand in the automatic exit door while you go through. Despite all the precautions, in one particular stop in a really sketchy part of Paris had a broken exit turnstile that would also let people just walk through. I'm not sure if some higher-up wanted to give the poor people in that area a break or if that area is just too poor for them to care to maintain it.
Oh, and you know how subway stations in New York smell like piss? So do the ones in Paris. In fact, once, we saw a man pissing on the wall
inside station in the middle of the day like it was no big thing.
Back to our regularly scheduled timeline:
I was honestly feeling a little bit shitty by the time I got into the city. But I did get to meet up with my friend from high school! We didn't do much the first day. We were both kind of exhausted. My hostel turned out to be some Korean lady's home. We couldn't wear shoes inside, and the only way to get into the building was to ring the doorbell and be let in. Also, she spoke no English, and from I could tell, not much French. So that was exciting. And! She made Korean food for us for breakfast! It was pretty amazing. And a good price (for Paris).
Versailles
So my buddy and I hopped on a train to Versailles on the second day, and it was pretty neat! We had to wait in line for a LONG time before we could get in and I had to go back and buy a ticket because it's only free for "long-term" residents (longer than four months, but a year is okay). Fortunately, I didn't have to wait in line twice because the ticket-checking person gave me a voucher to get back to the front after I bought my ticket.
Look at that building bling
A mere fraction of the line
This is the line I had to wait in. It got even longer.
What does this guy think he's doing?
Versailles!
We saw lots of fancy shit:
And some famous people that I got pretty excited about:
IS THIS L'HOPITAL OF MATHEMATIC FAME??
MOTHER FUCKIN LAPLACE ALL UP IN HERE
I can't read this, but I bet this guy's pretty cool too!
Charlemagne, kingin' it up over here.
Descartes. Pretty cute, huh?
Napoleon, bien sûr
I like this globe!
So fancy.
Fountain!
Only special people got to see this on up close
Blending in
Patron goddess of bamf-itude
fountain!
'MERKA. It's Indians.
Gardens!
I bet this swan gets ALL the food. Seriously.
On the third day of France, we did all the touristy things. I do not recommend this strategy. The line waiting of this day put Versailles to shame.
Anyway: Catacombs!
WALLS OF BONES
This art is made of people.
Geologic!
We went onto the Eiffel Tower. It is ugly and requires a lot of waiting but I guess you kind of have to do it?
The view:
Look! I got a key chain!
Not a handy.
The Louvre was pretty neat! It was our last stop before heading to Dijon, so it got cut a little short. But there wasn't a lot of waiting and it has some good stuff. Protip to museums: Greek/ Roman/ Egyptian antiquities are pretty much all the same and once you've seen them once, you pretty much never need to see them again. Same goes for pre-renaissance paintings.
The Louvre for real this time
This guy knows what you want
They had a replica of Napoleon's place, and I must say it was pretty fancy.
Science. You know I love that shit.
I love this one so much. She knows what's up, she knows.
Oh look, people looking at the Mona Lisa.
The Mona Lisa: pretty okay.
I really like this one too. Look at how fucking sad this is. Shit.
Turned out that all the normal seats to Dijon were taken and we had already book a hostel. We ended up going first class, as much as it pained our wallets. We got a pizza and ice cream to cry into afterwards.
My buddy looking fancy as hell in first class.
Turns out that Dijon totally made up for what a shit-hole Paris is. We spent the day following the owl path or whatever which is a built-in self-guided tour of Dijon and was just lovely.
Fountain!
This dude is protecting the park I think. Thanks, bear!
Follow the owls. They will lead you right.
This is /the/ owl. We rubbed this little guy for good luck as is tradition.
A crepe for adults.
Quality muck right here. It can support small rocks.
UTMOST VILIGANCE
so many receptacles
Fountain of Moses:
Moses
That night, my friend split for Germany, and I stayed the night in Dijon, leaving in the morning for Paris. I decided to walk around and see Paris without paying for anything and it was actually pretty nice.
A little creeps
This one park place had the most amazing playground ever.
This guy is not pleased
I bought a cheap Ryanair flight from Beauvais. This may or may not have been a mistake. Turns out to get to Beauvais from Paris you need to drop some fifteen Euros to get the bus anyway, so I'm not sure how much cheaper it actually was.
This is the check-in. Note how there are zero people here. Seems legit.
So long Paris, may we never meet again.
